Strictly speaking she is not my first love, because we do not love, I just crush on her only.
a
that I was 18 years old, in Beijing, a well-known University of Reading freshman.
rural growth, I started going to the capital, to see other students, proud of the boys, pretty girls, hearts there is a sense of inferiority, so little interaction with others.
when she appeared in my life. She hardly stunning, but is absolutely beautiful, soft flowing hair, slim and lanky build, wherever is the focus of attention. The most interesting note is her full breasts, firm and strong. Her character was very generous, cheerful, and very considerate person will, without losing strong and gentle, pleasant, and excellent results, is the Department of Student Learning Minister, chasing her boys more like summer frogs, countless.
like such a good girl I is not going to provoke a general, I have no money, not handsome, untouchables.
night we usually study hall in the amphitheater, seating is not fixed. She was always active sitting next to me, nothing good with me. At first I ignored her, but she no attention, is still to me asking questions. No way I had to answer, slowly on the familiar, and it is also more up.
Once she asked me: “you do not with people, not some inferior?”
I said yes.
She said: “Then I train you, make you self-confidence up, OK?”
I said Sure.
She said: “First, look at my eyes.”
I said do not you?
She said: “did not look when they talk to each other’s eyes, people will know you are a guilty conscience.”
So I looked at her bold eyes.
her eyes are so beautiful, very, very clear, watery, although a high degree of myopia, wearing glasses, but intact on her beauty.
just read less than 5 seconds, I was timid, and to look to move down.
But they also see more of her beautiful breasts.
my face turned red.
She did not notice that I looked at her chest, said: “see you see you, courage is so small.”
So I decided to drum courage and her visual effect.
her help, I soon brightened, the students do not then I am as an “alien.” I am really into the girls, grades on the rise, also won first prize in the school essay.
of course, all this most happy or her because of her efforts to have effect.
but I know I fell in love with her, one day I just do not talk to her whole body dull.
she is from Beijing, to be home every weekend. So the weekend has become my most hated days.
I know she felt my feelings for her. Because the surface, each of her boys are good, as all get along well with everyone, I am just one of these. But she laughed with me the most, it is also up, but never at home every Sunday afternoon, came back, we need to bring me some food, which makes me very happy, but also to other boys are jealous.
2
Winter vacation would have passed.
winter vacation for a month can not see her, I do not know how I had this holiday season, and only hope that the day a little slower.
fast day by day, but time is past, winter has finally arrived.
Although parents wanted me, but still wrote a letter asking me not to go back, I do not intend to go back. Because I buy the tickets the equivalent of two months of living expenses.
approaching New Year, many migrant workers have returned home, and in about an hour’s drive from the school construction site, I found a brick and pick guard material in the evening on the living shed served. Wages are counted by day, 20 yuan per day, but also control three meals, I Hen Zhizu, earn 600 as a winter holiday, the next semester, do not remitted the cost of living.
winter in Beijing really cool ah.
cold winter back home, but after all, is the South, the quilt can be a little thicker.
can not do in Beijing. Night, shed through the ice in just a lung. I dare not light a fire, because the shed in my one person fell asleep out of fear of accidents. Can not sleep, can barely make do look a nap.
the twelfth lunar month 28. Morning.
I as usual, stirring up a load of bricks, just stood up and saw her.
she and her parents put a lot of vegetables, should be the procurement of stocking it.
she saw me, surprised.
on as two seconds.
I bowed my head to work.
she called me: “You ……”
me bitterly:” I want to earn living expenses. “
; She pulled me without any explanation: “to my home a warm bath, changing clothes set my dad to see you one of the gray.”
her firmly so I can not refuse, I went to.
her home in the vicinity of the original. Into the yard when I noticed a little, is a very real power of the sector. Came across one very respectfully to her dad said, “Zhao Juchang good\Her mother later said: “My family sewer blocked, find someone to look at.”
I think head “H” a cry. U-turn to turn back. Came behind her and her mother fight the voices.
I am poor, but I have self-esteem.
evening, I sat in the quilt, the think of things during the day, bad mood. So pick up the beloved erhu, pull up a bitter “Erhu.” (Forgot to explain, I told my father learned the erhu, especially like the “Erhu”)
the music, some people applauded: “Today only know you have unique skills that hand.”
she was carrying a large bag stand shed mouth: “Why do not you ask me in?”
I looked at her coldly.
she proceeded to go in, take off your shoes, but also blankets and sat down. “I brought a few pieces of my dad’s old clothes, I hope you do not find it too. Day thing, I apologize. There are 400 dollars, I give you the lucky money.”
I said: “I do not want your pity and charity. I am in my world, my own way to live well, do not want you to manage.”
She said: ” I really want to help you, not the slightest look down on what you mean, you have to believe me. before you introverted, I can help you brightened. now you live so hard, I would like to help you out. “
; I looked at her.
she looked at me.
so on, as we were, of as much as 5 minutes.
Although the work shed where only 25-watt bulb, but her face was truly sincere that spring to my eyes.
a thought in my heart rise.
I suddenly a Banguo her body, put her under pressure in the body, one hand clutching her chest rude.
she was stunned, then it may look not react, but I immediately opened, and a resounding slap in the face upon my face.
“shameless! I really blind!” she order a bit, and went straight away.
I know I ended up with her completely, my heart easily, although it is dismay.
3
back to school, and we are coming back to the campus.
she still maintains contact with each male, except me. Evening self-study, also sat far.
students also found this, have asked me why I do not answer.
day in this cold atmosphere passed three years, every day I have to bear the torment of three years. Looked at her with the other students laugh if nothing had happened,christian louboutin sandals on sale, my heart felt a pang of hurt. So I am even more strenuously in the study, but did not reduce the maximum scholarship of my pain.
I know I loved her, but I do not deserve. I think only school to release the pain.
I like is transparent in her eyes, like, her eyes never stop is not me.
until one day ……
had already summer, and graduated from there about month to month. Our bedroom has been “lying on” the tradition of a normal day, a very good relationship with my friends talking about her “that on the breast, Gee, really want to bite.” That expression, like really bit the same. I rushed in to a harsh blow to him.
next day, we both bruised face was go to class. All the students know the reasons for fighting. Night, in the amphitheater, she sat down beside me, staring at me not to speak. Although three years have not been on TV, but I still read her eyes, she was asked. I said: “Because I do not want other people to insult you.”
She said: “This being the case, then why did you insult me?”
; I just felt blood on the Bay, the hearts of three years, then finally buried blurted out: “Because I do not want to waste your youth in me. I am good enough for you, we are two people in the world. Although I like you, but I graduated after going to the back, can not stay here. but you’re different, you should have a better future. “
” then you use this method to let me hate you? “she looked at me.
I looked at her: “Yes.”
again on the visual.
long time, she looked up, but the tears still fall down.
I pack books, out of the amphitheater. Until graduation, I did not go self-study.
……
the twelfth lunar month 28. Morning.
I as usual, prepare breakfast for his daughter.
phone rang, I left Beijing, calling the students: “For her to get married.”
I said: “Who is married?”
He said: “Who else? has 32, and the last class marriage, but also non-marriage should be in the twelfth lunar month 28, all New Year approached, do not know how she thought. “
” rattle “bang, my hands spatula off the ground.
living room came the voice of his wife: “how the?”
I said nothing, picked up the spatula, the paste of the eggs have been fried thrown into the trash.
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